blog

Getting the point-BYU's Vocal Point performance

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 20:49:43 +0100

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OVOoXZNQ53c

BYU's all male performing group Vocal Point hit top marks with "Every Little Step" on NBC's "The Sing Off" this past Monday (see the above link). I got it, I saw it, I felt it, I was there with them the whole way on this song. So why did they get kicked off? Being a performer myself and receiving my education from BYU-- I love the great value of a BYU education and there is talent galore coming out of that place. However, when I watched Vocal Point's other number below, I totally got that too. I totally got a piece of what has been missing for me in a lot of LDS dominated performances onstage and on film, and have felt this creeping possibility in my own performance potential.

Back somewhere in the early '80's at a BYU acting workshop, I remember auditioning for long time casting director Lyn Stalmaster (with way too many credits to list here, but the 1978 Christopher Reeves "Superman" was one of them). As I recall he really only had one thing to say, and it was really simple, all of us needed to take more risks. I thought about that for years. What does taking a risk look like in acting? I sure wasn't going to take my clothes off. Such an act has been praised as great risk taking. And I believed that if I didn't take risks I wasn't a great actor. I thought -how can someone with certain moral guidelines really become a great artist if they can't take risks? Perhaps the title of this post should be "What is risk taking really?" Clearly I didn't get it.

I love how when I see a performance like the one below, with the following comments--I get it! I see it in others, I see it in the juxtaposition of the two songs, and I know that at times I have gotten it in my own performances. I mean, I have taken risks. I have gone deep inside and unburied the core meaning and brought it up, even if it wasn't pretty. It is about not playing it safe. Playing it safe is boring. I have been pretty boring most of my life. Needing to feel safe has been a big issue for me. It wasn't until I did my own Journey work that I became aware that I was running my life from a place of needing to feel safe! Now that's an ego game... and I'm not getting into that here, but we all play them in one way or another. Your ego game might not be about feeling safe, it might be feeling unloveable, worthless, or vulnerable. These can all be part of your ego game. But back to the point...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=iD3od9uANlQ

Tony Collette

Taking risks. Doing the not so safe thing, being willing to not look pretty, or not sound good or be wrong in order to speak the truth. My voice over coach, Christopher Robin Miller, said to me the other day that part of the reason Meryl Streep and Toni Collette are such great actresses is because they aren't afraid to be ugly. Wow-SMACK! That hit me between the eyes. In a society filled with unrealistic expectations of women's appearances, I have played my own game against myself. I have at times been deeply afraid that I am ugly--I mean deep down inside ugly. And so I have to make sure that I am pretty on the outside. And sometimes that means I sacrifice my truth for what I think will get me approval.

Back to BYU and Vocal Point. Where there are high standards there are high expectations. There are high standards and expectations in the LDS church and at BYU. I believe sometimes those expectations keep us from being authentic. I feel for Ben here, he is very talented and did a great job and yes has a very beautiful voice. As Shawn Stockman said, David Ruffin, who originally sang this number didn't have a great voice, but he was preaching a sermon and he was down on his knees and the audience knew it. DANG people, get down on your knees, sing it like there's no tomorrow, dance like nobodies watching! And please, mirror it back to me.

Treehive

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 01:56:19 +0100

http://www.tuomaskorpi.com

In searching my own heart and relationship with God, the idea of patterns in nature as templates of truth and life came to mind. So what about the heart of the forrest? You've heard that term before right? What might I find that would be symbolic of what's going on in my or anyone else's heart? Do we keep our hearts trapped, confined, safe? Who will bring light back into the many spaces of our heart? Hmmmm... I searched the internet under "heart of the forrest" and this beautiful painting by artist Tuomas Korpi came up. WOW... This so says it all to me. If this were a picture of you're heart what would it mean? Dare you speak it?

I've never done this before!

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 01:57:05 +0100

My son Jon and me with Matt Een our expert belayer and teacher.

Have you ever started something and thought "I can do that." without really thinking about it? Well, when my nephew invited my boys, Grant and Jon, to go rock climbing, I thought "I want to go rock climbing too." Now, I know how to hike and I love being in nature but this was something other people do, ya know? Not something any of my siblings or either of my parents do, not something my husband or his family has ever done. And dang!-- I want to jump in. I don't want to always wonder what it would be like, or wish I would've.

So I stepped out of my comfort zone and uncharacteristically asked if I could go too. Though they said sure, I felt like I was breaking a silent contract of "no girls allowed."(They didn't complain so I didn't mention the contract.:)

We went the following morning up on Pete's Rock just off of Wasatch Blvd. Matt, our expert belayer and teacher, said it was a medium difficulty climb at 5.6 on a scale of 5.0 (easiest) to 5.14 (most difficult). (I don't even know if I'm writing this correctly.)

I had watched Jon and Daniel, my nephew, climb before me to see if I could get a picture of what it might be like. I carefully watched where they found holds for their hands and feet and hoped that I could find an easier route. Once I was on the rock, my biggest opposition was the voices in my head! I couldn't give in to them if i intended to make it to the top. They went something like "What makes me think I can do this? I don't have a clue what I'm doing. There's nothing to hold on to! I can't do this, there's no where to put my feet. I'm not strong enough. I'm out of shape. I don't have the right shoes to be doing this! How embarrassing to be stuck up here. I have to look like I know what I'm doing!" And the real kicker "There's a man anchoring me. He'll take care of me, he'll save me. I don't have to work this hard." Aaarghhh! And I felt intense fear (I didn't really want him to lift me up and unbeknownst to me he physically couldn't. He could only anchor me. But I noticed I wanted him to save me.) When i couldn't figure out what to do I stopped, stilled my mind and focused on just breathing. I forced the thoughts out of my head and started looking for a place to put my hands and feet so I could move up the rock. I had to look in places other than where I'd been looking and I had to use my hands to feel my way to those places. And I just pushed through not wanting to look like a wimp in front of these three guys.

Matt called up to me, "Move to the left. It's easier over there." I thought I had started on the left because that's what he'd said to Jon too! So I proceeded to think to the left (at this point I didn't know how else I was going to get there.) Gradually I moved through the fear, found my way to the left and started moving upward again.

TA DA!! I'm so glad Grant brought his Evo to take a picture so we have proof! I made it!

Once I pulled myself together and took note of my accomplishment, I yelled down to Matt, "Take!" feeling all professional-like as if I really knew what I was doing. HA!

So down I went, still a bit shaky and relieved that my turn was done. Then when someone mentioned that we still had another almost 2 hours to climb, my heart started to panic, thinking "Oh my gosh, I'm going to have to do it again!"

Then Grant did the very same climb I just did, becoming MR. SPIDER MAN himself, whipping to the top in half the time as everyone else. Exclaiming how it was "way too easy." (This is his first time climbing too, I might add). So he proceeded to climb up the right side, where it is more difficult. And I knew right then that I was going to have to climb up the right side too. DANG!

My TEAM! You ROCK!

OK. Last photo, I promise! This is the best though. I put this photo here because I couldn't have done it without these guys. They became my team! From the left:Grant (Spidey himself), Jon, Daniel (my nephew) and Matt (Daniel's brother-in-law and expert belayer/teacher.)

So I put the helmet back on and started up the right side. I was bombarded with all those silly thoughts again (see second photo above), although this time I had found a pair of climbing shoes in Matt's bag. Boy did I need them when i only had an inch of rock to put my foot on!

This time I lost my footing and swung to the left-- a couple of times. I had witnessed one of the boys do that earlier, so I gave myself permission to "fall" if I needed too, plus I knew Matt had my back, so to speak, so I felt a little more courageous. I just ignored the fear, I couldn't do it if I paid any attention to it. Anyway... the guys were all helping me out. They could see what I couldn't. They were telling me where to put my feet and to grab onto a hold just around the corner of the rock that I couldn't see, yelling '"You can do it, you can do it, your almost there!"

At one point I was squatting, one knee almost to my shoulder, legs shaking and I didn't know if I had the strength to push myself up. There was no other way but straight up or straight down! And this is an easy to medium climb?? Matt had said that girls are better climbers because they rely on their legs more, knowing that they don't have the arm strength to pull themselves up, so I thought, "Hey.... I'm a girl... I can do this!" Then Daniel said "JUST STAND UP." So I cleared my mind and just stood up. Whew! Then I found the hold just around the corner of the rock and started to move again. And in no time I was at the top--AGAIN!

Matt said I'm the best first time climber he has ever seen--EVER. He's been climbing for over 25 years.

I can't even remember a time when I was so excited to have accomplished something. I feel like a little girl who was scared to death to lose her first tooth, crying and putting up a whole fit, and then afterwards going around with this great big smile, all happy, showing it off to everyone and so proud of herself!!

OK... I soooo needed to have this physical over coming of FEAR. AND, I unearthed a belief that I don't have to work that hard because a man is going to take care of me. This is a little embarrassing to admit. Have you ever experienced anything like this? What do you really want to try, but have been afraid to do?